I'll go on, to the end of the spiral

What’s a good way to start 2018? By migrating, of course!

It’s been 2 weeks since I arrived in Medellin, Colombia. I’ve got a job, a place to sleep, and… I’m by myself, in this huge, immense city. It makes my home city look like a sandbox.

It’s all so new… While Venezuela regressed more and more into some sort of crazy wasteland, the world kept going. I came here, and I was reminded of so many day-to-day commodities that I felt like I just came from some surreal nightmare. And this isn’t even some first-world country or some amazing, luxurious city, it’s just… Colombia, our neighbor?

While I’ve been fine until now, sometimes I’m still overwhelmed by this situation. Away from my home, my friends. I never identified with Venezuela, I never felt like I fit in, but it’s the place where my friends and the only home I’ve ever had was. No matter how I put it, being unable to go home like this, is hard. Is exciting to be in a new place and have so many new opportunities, but at the same time I can’t help but be scared at the same time.

It’s been only two weeks, but I feel like it’s been months. But knowing that now I have the chance to build a better future makes all the hardships worth it.

So, with this, my journey continues.

cicada-san:

cicada-san:

So, as I have been writing on the last personal posts, I’ve been in the efforts of emigrating for the last 3 months. If any of you search for news of Venezuela, you may realize that our country in currently collapsing under a crappy economy, horrible social crisis, and all but stated dictatorship.

And, as you may now, bolivares (the currency of Venezuela) are basically worthless. Months of work only get you a few dollars in exchange rates. The awful economy and administration of the country is to blame for this. I’ve been trying and trying to get money as much as I can, but at the rate I’m going, I won’t be making much progress anytime soon.

My country is in shambles. I can’t stand to live like this. I want to start a new life outside the country but the current situation doesn’t make it any easier for me. I’ve put myself to get out of the country within this year’s first half, because I don’t think I’ll be able to endure much more than that.

I’ve been trying to work as a translator, illustrator, anything I can get my hands on, but I’m limited by my laptop that can’t handle big files and the slow internet that doesn’t let me upload much, and the lack of any official experience I have as a translator, which puts me in a tight spot when it comes to the (very) competitive translating field. The sad thing is, that you don’t need that much of money to travel to the country that’s right besides you (Colombia, which is where I’m going). It’s just that our economy is so terrible that our money is worthless for any other country.

I’ll keep trying. I need to keep trying. But I’m losing hope since I can only see more and more obstacles ahead. I can’t stand living like this any longer, I wan a better life than scrambling for food and having to be paranoid of everyone because anyone can rob or kill you. Life here is awful for anyone that knows how low we have fallen.

I want something better. I left college because I couldn’t stand wasting my life here. I want to start again and rebuild the life I lost here. I have lost so many things here and I want to recover them before it’s too late. Or before I definitely break down.

To be honest, I hate asking for help, but I realized I need it. If you have anything you can donate, send it to my Paypal (patricia_bonilla93@hotmail.com) anything is appreciated! I will remember all the help I got when I make it to the border, and all the people who helped me.

Rebloging! Please spread as much as you can!

I’ll probably won’t be leaving anytime soon. 

Just today I got informed of some rather demotivating news involving me not having nearly enough funds to move out.

I’m… still trying to cope with all this, but this might mean that I’m not leaving this month… neither the next. Or the one after that.

I was so hopeful. I really want to believe this isn’t over, but I’m lacking the strength to believe in anything right now.

Not even selling half of my house would be enough to cover for travel expenses, so the only thing I could depend on is just… gone.

For this night, I can’t be strong. I can’t hold onto anything. This is probably one of the worst nights in my life.

(Tbh if people can spread that commission post I’d be grateful since recently I got robbed of the money I was going to use to pay for travel expenses and I’m opening commissions ASAP to get it back and pay for what’s needed, please and thanks!)